It's Mallow vs. Mallow...
Head Counselor Yappy is back in action, and this time he's got a sweet tooth! In order to prep for the Summer X Camp bonfires, Yappy is sampling and reviewing every kind of marshmallow you can buy in the grocery store. Which mallows did Yappy like best, and who gave him access to flames? Let's find out using Yappy's time-tested rating system of setting them on fire and eating them whole. For quick reference, Marshmallows are rated in a scale of 1-10, with 1 being basically boiled cabbage and 10 being that feeling when you get a question right on Jeopardy from the comfort of your living room.
The Classic
Grade "A" mallow taste that everyone knows and loves. Predicable burn. Nice finish.
9/10 (there's always room for improvement!)
Jumbo Mallow
3 times the size of a normal marshmallow. This thing does not joke around! Difficult to eat, but still packed with mallow flavor! Fun fact: the Jumbo Mallow also doubles as a torch in case you join a mob with rural townspeople looking for a beast in the woods. Lots of light, PLUS a snack! What more do you need?
7/10
Fruity Mini Mallow (aka the gross ones)
Yappy enjoyed these a lot more than we thought he would, or probably anyone should. Who likes these, seriously? Yappy.
3/10 (Don't eat these)
The Stacker
Designed especially for crafting s'mores , these mallows provide less goo than the classic, but more structural support for the campfire favorite. Highly recommended, especially if you're the s'mores game for the chocolate.
8/10
Coconut Mallow
This marshmallow is the crème de la crème of campfire roasters. Is it possible that bonfire mallows can be gourmet? The cononut mallow answers with a resounding PROBABLY. Gooey marshmallow mixes with toasted coconut to deliver devilishly delicious flavor. They're even good right out of the bag! WATCH OUT for the toasted coconut. Yappy learned the hard way.
7/10 (minus 3 for Yappy's Emergency Room bill)
And the Winner is...
The Classic Mallow! Congratulations classic mallow, you stood your ground against a fair field of tough competitors. Your reward is getting chewed on by every camper from ages 5 to 500, and occasionally family dogs who realize no one is looking. You did it!